Log in

No account? Create an account
Trillium [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

A long way to go from the long way I've been [Sep. 3rd, 2014|11:23 pm]
There is a sense of danger and mystery that I reminisce about. It has been many years since the facet of me that I've cordoned off and hidden away that was my darker self has seen the light of day. But over the last few months after I've spent time in therapy, the layers are being peeled back and she is surfacing again.

This beautiful, dark, depraved, spirit that for the life of me I cannot see how she fits into the world I've created around me.

She is me, and I am her, yet she is separate, to the point that I refer to this aspect as something completely different than what I am.

I have realized that I am not whole and never will be as long as I do not accept this facet of self, but with my inability to live outside of my all or nothing mind set, it is as if she sits on the side lines and teases and taunts me.

She confuses me but without her, I cannot be.
link1 comment|post comment

Our Veterans Deserve Better [May. 23rd, 2006|08:52 am]
I found this linked from an MSNBC article...

link1 comment|post comment

The gov. [May. 22nd, 2006|07:25 pm]
Okay, it takes alot to get me steamed now adays... but it is blasphemous bullshit like these that really gets my blood boiling...

Lets take 26.5 million records.. names, birthdates, and SSN (yes all that JUICY info that can be used for identity theft) and get it stolen..

Ladies and Gents...
welcome to the latest and greatest security breach of your personal information brought to you by your friends at none other then the Veteran's Administration...



Yes.. you read it right...

What makes me sick about all of this is that the men and women fighting in this war that we shouldn't be in now have a whole lot more to worry about because of someone's screw up...
Put your life on the line for "Your Country" and be a possible victim of identity theft

Some f*ckin' trade off!
link1 comment|post comment

Thanksgiving came and went [Nov. 27th, 2005|10:41 pm]
[music |Amarantine - Enya]

Holidays don't seem the same anymore without my grandmother. To me Thursday was another day, despite knowing that I was welcome at my dad's house. I cannot be sure if time will heal all wounds... as I find memories to be stronger then ever nearing the holiday season.

It sucks when one has to force sanity during the holiday. I'd rather just whole up in my closet for the rest of the year and make an appearance sometime after January.
linkpost comment

FREE JUAN LLAMA!!!! [Oct. 17th, 2005|08:24 pm]
Free the llama!!

linkpost comment

So here I am... [Sep. 11th, 2005|08:29 pm]
Sept 11th...

Here I am, Here I stay....

I fret and fuss over the stupidest of things, worrying about money and how I will make the mortgage payment and worried about my job....

when.... there are lives that will never be the same thanks to the tragedy of this day, what seems like many years ago...

and the tragedy that continues to affect our brothers and sisters in of the South...

in all reality I have nothing to worry about.....
it is so small to those who have been touched by man-made devastations and Mother Nature's wrath...
linkpost comment

One word.... mythTV [Sep. 9th, 2005|11:34 pm]
An old AMD 750, a Hauppauge PVR 250, three hard drives, and a DVD-RW that when I purchased it 3 yrs ago cost me a small fortune and I am the proud owner of a build it yourself PVR... all hail mythTV...

I've tinkered around with it for a bit, and am awaiting the irBlaster to control my set-top satellite receiver, but from what I've done so far...all I can say is wow!!!

After being guided towards a website.. I have never looked back.

Check this out:

It is the bible, the oracle, the all knowing tome of MythTV....

But how SWEET it is..
linkpost comment

My house [Sep. 4th, 2005|11:28 pm]
Well.. low and behold .. I've moved!!! I am not sure if this is a good thing yet though. So let me sum it up in a nutshell.

Early June, I get fed up with the termite swarms that have overtaken my kitchen. My lazy ass, cheap landlord who can't take his hand away from his bottle of whatever alcholic substance is closest still won't believe me. So, I thow a tantrum, say fuck it...and bam.. next thing I know I'm looking at houses.

Found a house. An end unit town home in Elkton, MD (we gone and gots ourselves a Super Wal-Mart now). Nice place, one owned.. barely used...hell they didn't even paint their walls. Everything is still 'buy a new house' white... but anyway

End of June, sign contract!!!
6 days to the nose, I found out the company I work for (not naming any names but those of you who know me, know who I am speaking of), has been...what's this?!?! BOUGHT OUT! .... So I've just signed a contract on a house that will nary put in $200k in debt and now 6 months from now I don't know if I'll have a job?

Fast forward... July 28th. I throw ill to the wind and say the hell with it... sign the lease and my life away.. I am now the proud owner of a nice lil' town home in Elkton....

Woooot! ....

So that is what I've been up to over the last month (Sorry I haven't emailed anyone!!!). Still have alot of unpacking to do...and I am not even going to talk about the painting!!!

That's it folks...

next stop...insanity!!!
link2 comments|post comment

Please understand I am not a heartless individual.... [Mar. 26th, 2005|12:05 am]
I keep following this Terry Schiavo case and the whole 'right to die' argument that is ensuing between her husband and what I had to deem as delusional parents.

I am not heartless by any means, but I've been down the road of watching at least three relatives at one time or another in their lives be on life support and feeding tubes. Not only is it difficult on the mind of the individual it is being done to, but it wreaks havoc on those who have to be faced with the cords and tubes every day.

My problem with the whole ordeal with her parents screaming that God wants her to live is that if modern medicince hadn't intervened, she would have passed already. I don't quite grasp why that can't be understood.

Morally it is a rough decision, granted... but like I said I've been down the road. I almost had to make a decision like this for my grandmother...regarding sustained feedings via tube. The thought of having that responsbility of a persons life in my hands is frightening.

What do you think?
link1 comment|post comment

(no subject) [Jan. 26th, 2005|08:13 pm]
[mood |amusedamused]

Okay, Ripley's Believe it or Not... now on the Sci Fi Channel. Talk about bizarre!

A vacuum for prairie dogs... I think the two top stories that get me on this one is the guy who's tattooed like a cat gets his whiskers installed (surgically), and a man who's lost his family jewels is going to have a finger amputated to replace it.

Perhaps I should be watching something a little more educational or entertaining, but OH do I love to take the wierd shit like this to work....
linkpost comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]